


Bill the Palm Tree

by flootiger



Category: Tokio Hotel
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Twincest - Not Related
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-08 11:38:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4303479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flootiger/pseuds/flootiger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bill is a palm tree and he wants a boyfrond.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bill the Palm Tree

**Author's Note:**

> Punny summary credit goes to my darling Ghostie! 
> 
> Inspired by the picture in the banner and written in about 3 seconds flat a while ago, idk why I'm posting here tbh blame Ghostie. 
> 
> Ghostie and Zarlina were responsible for part two.

**Part One**  
  
The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the sky was blue. Bill looked down upon the bustling street below him and sighed.   
  
The people of LA all hurried beneath his fronds, too busy, too preoccupied with their own lives to even glance up at Bill. It was a lonely life, being a palm tree. But at least he had the most beautiful leaves of all the boulevard. Georg who lived across the street only had floppy brown leaves that were nothing to write home about and Gustav didn’t even have any leaves at all!!  
  
Yes, Bill was the prettiest palm tree and he knew it.  
  
Being pretty came with its downsides though and often Bill wondered if that was the reason he had yet to find love, perhaps people were too intimidated by his beauty. If it weren’t for his damn roots he would have searched the lands far and wide to find his one true love, but as it was, he hadn’t ever moved.  
  
Once, Bill thought Katy Perry had managed to move but it turned out she’s just died when a hurricane blew her over. If she hadn’t been such a bitch to him about his leaves he would have felt sorry for her.  
  
Once again, Bill sighed, wishing someone would sweep  _him_  off his feet, in a manner of speaking. Then he looked down at his roots to survey the river of humans that flowed some twenty feet below.  
  
Someone caught his eye. It was Tom. Bill knew it was Tom because often he paused beneath Bill’s shade to chat on the phone. Today was one of those days. Tom was  _gorgeous_ , Bill thought. Tall, toned and tanned, he spoke with an exotic accent and when he leaned against Bill’s trunk Bill could practically  _feel_  how sexy he was.  
  
Tom stayed to chat to whoever was on the other end of the line for ten minutes and Bill did his best to protect him from the sun’s rays. He even rustled his leaves a bit, hoping to send down a cool breeze so Tom didn’t break out in a sweat under the relentless LA sunshine. Then Tom went on his way, moving easily between the crowds as he disappeared down the boulevard.  
  
Bill sighed  _heavily_  again, and desperately hoped than he and Tom were truly, madly, deeply in love in another life.  
  
  
  
 **Part Two**    
  
Bill was busy fanning his leaves in the evening breeze when something small and hard slammed into the top of his trunk.   
  
“Ouch!” He cried out in shock.  
  
He shook his fronds violently, trying to dislodge whatever had fallen on his head. It wouldn’t budge but Bill could feel it, and Bill could  _hear_  it.   
  
Who was this unwelcome guest?   
  
Feeling irked, he puffed, his smaller front leaves blowing up in exasperation. It wasn’t a bird, as much as he resented them, at least birds were light on their feet even if they did crap everywhere. Whoever was occupying his perfect crop of leaves had hit Bill like a ton of bricks. A very small ton of bricks, but it  **had**  hurt.   
  
“Get off me!” Bill tried verbal abuse.   
  
“I can’t!” Came a small voice.   
  
Finally, something small and silver rolled into his line of vision. It was a spoon, a pretty silver spoon with an angry red face and dreadlocks. Bill decided not to question the dreadlocks.   
  
“Yes you can, I’ll just flick you off with my leaves,” Bill made to do as he’d promised but the little spoon yelled in protest.   
  
“I’ll die! It’s so far down!”   
  
Bill rolled his eyes. This spoon was quite the drama queen.   
  
“Where did you even come from?” He eyed the spoon suspiciously.   
  
“A magpie,” the spoon wheezed, clearly still traumatised from his ordeal. Bill felt a little sorry for the tiny thing, but it wasn’t enough to eclipse the chagrin he felt at the spoon’s violent landing.   
  
“Those pesky things, I thought they all disappeared when Katy Perry died,” Bill mused. “Well, you can’t stay here.”   
  
The sun shone down and Bill raised his leaves to catch the rays, deciding to ignore his new tenant and hope the problem would remove itself.   
  
“Can’t I just stay here?” the spoon was looking around curiously.   
  
Bill’s attention snapped back to the spoon at once. “No you cannot!”   
  
“Why not?” The spoon asked, rolling to wrap himself in one of Bill’s new leaves, a tiny green bud that had barely blossomed.   
  
“There’s no room,” Bill said quickly.   
  
“There’s loads,” the spoon retorted. “You have such nice leaves.”   
  
Bill couldn’t help but preen. “You think do?”   
  
“Oh yes,” said the spoon. “I’m Tom by the way.”   
  
“Bill,” Bill replied, waving his leaves so a few brushed the top of Tom’s head.   
  
“What a nice name, too,” Tom said, flashing Bill a coy look.   
  
Bill would have blushed if he’d been able to. “Okay,” he acquiesced. “You can stay.”   
  
Tom beamed. “Thanks.”   
  
Bill looked at the little spoon and wafted his leaves around so Tom was encased in a gentle embrace. Even if Tom the hot human didn’t even know he existed, Tom the Little Spoon was more than enough for Bill the Palm Tree.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for indulging me. 
> 
> Here is Little Spoon Tom for those who are interested (made by yours truly)  
> [](http://s881.photobucket.com/user/EmilyExorsist/media/littlespoon.jpg.html)


End file.
